Offscript - Nothing can go Wrong
Theater accidents illustrate that ‘show must go on’ mentality
Supposedly, some fans attend auto races solely out of a desire to see a spectacular crash. I wonder if there’s a similar percentage of theater audiences that crave to witness flubs, train wrecks and other comedies of errors.
Sometimes the love of telling playhouse war stories seems to come a close second to the love of theater itself. The late Spalding Gray called such freak episodes “unifying accidents” that connect artists and audiences, reveal the immediacy of live theater, and resoundingly prove the old saw that no two shows are ever exactly alike. Presented in the spirit of April Fool’s Day, three stories of performance-related mishaps embody the show-must-go-on spirit of the stage.
Steve Murray (playwright): “One night in my play Mileage at Theater Emory, someone dropped a wineglass [on stage] and it burst into thousands of nasty shards. In the very next scene, all four actors had to come on stage, barefoot. Tom Key handled it impressively. In the few seconds available, he walked offstage, returned - in character - with a broom, and carefully, meditatively, swept up the glass with such a beautiful, end-of-a-long-night fatigue. My response was, ‘Damn, I wish I’d written that into the play!’ It turned out to be a great metaphor for a family breaking apart because of lies, but insisting on sweeping up and hiding the wreckage.”
Topher Payne (actor/playwright): “One night at the Process Theatre’s Vampire Lesbians of Sodom, Craig Waldrip and I stepped outside the Art Farm for a cigarette before five-minute call. Craig was in full drag as the ancient Greek succubus, and I wore gray, silent-movie-era makeup that made me look like a mime. And we were robbed at gunpoint.
“When the guy with the gun said, ‘Gimme your money,’ Craig did a beautiful Jack Benny take and gestured to his outfit like, ‘Where would I have money?’ I handed over my wallet and told the mugger I had maybe $20. He said, ‘There better be more than that!’ and I said, ‘I’m an actor.’ After he left, the theater held the curtain for about 15 or 20 minutes while the police came and took our statements. Then we went on and were, of course, fabulous.”
Larry Larson (actor/playwright): “Eddie Levi Lee and I were playing Lennie and George in Of Mice and Men at the Academy Theatre. We had a steel basket built into the stage in which we ‘built’ a campfire, using twigs that had been soaked in water, so we could safely put a match in. I threw in the match and all seemed well until later in the scene, when I noticed that actual flames were coming out. No one soaked the twigs that day, so it was dry kindling.
“Eddie and I talked about rabbits a little more, until flames started rising more than a foot high, and the stage itself was catching fire. Finally, I said, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to stop for a moment and take care of this campfire.’ The technical director came out with a bucket of water and put it out. He’d been crawling under the stage trying to put it out without stopping the show. Once the fire was out and the lights restored, I turned to Eddie, who had stayed in character, and said, ‘Well, Lennie, do you remember where we left off?’ Eddie looked at me and said, ‘No, George. I forget things sometimes.’”
Occupational hazardsActor’s Express is replacing its summer show, the period comedy Compleat Female Stage Beauty. Instead, the playhouse presents Allison Moore’s Hazard County (June 2-July 23), which depicts a Southern mystery interspersed with monologues about “The Dukes of Hazzard.” Actor’s Express founder Chris Coleman directs the show’s first production, playing through April 3 during the Humana Festival at Louisville’s Actors Theatre.
Actor’s Express artistic director Jasson Minadakis worried that the weak box office of the play’s film adaptation, Stage Beauty, would hurt the play’s attendance. He praises Hazard County’s off-beat meditation on Southern culture and hopes the new film of The Dukes of Hazzard, opening June 24 with Johnny Knoxville and Jessica Simpson, will give the summer show a Hollywood hook.
The playhouse has also announced its 2005-‘06 season. Run dates are yet to be announced, but the season begins with Bug, a thriller by Tracy Letts, playwright of last fall’s smash Killer Joe. Pulitzer-winner Paula Vogel penned the dysfunctional family holiday-themed show The Long Christmas Ride Home to be co-produced with Synchronicity Performance Group. The world premiere musical Love Jerry, Megan Gogerty’s poignant tale of child abuse, was a finalist in the Alliance Theatre’s 2005 Graduate Playwriting Competition. Next spring, the theater presents the Atlanta premiere of the haunting memory play Three Tall Women by Edward Albee, author of The Goat, or Who Is Sylvia?, an Actor’s Express hit in 2004. And The Last Sunday in June, a comedy-drama about Gay Pride Day in post-9/11 New York, closes the season next summer.
Curt.Holman@creativeloafing.com
Sometimes the love of telling playhouse war stories seems to come a close second to the love of theater itself. The late Spalding Gray called such freak episodes “unifying accidents” that connect artists and audiences, reveal the immediacy of live theater, and resoundingly prove the old saw that no two shows are ever exactly alike. Presented in the spirit of April Fool’s Day, three stories of performance-related mishaps embody the show-must-go-on spirit of the stage.
Steve Murray (playwright): “One night in my play Mileage at Theater Emory, someone dropped a wineglass [on stage] and it burst into thousands of nasty shards. In the very next scene, all four actors had to come on stage, barefoot. Tom Key handled it impressively. In the few seconds available, he walked offstage, returned - in character - with a broom, and carefully, meditatively, swept up the glass with such a beautiful, end-of-a-long-night fatigue. My response was, ‘Damn, I wish I’d written that into the play!’ It turned out to be a great metaphor for a family breaking apart because of lies, but insisting on sweeping up and hiding the wreckage.”
Topher Payne (actor/playwright): “One night at the Process Theatre’s Vampire Lesbians of Sodom, Craig Waldrip and I stepped outside the Art Farm for a cigarette before five-minute call. Craig was in full drag as the ancient Greek succubus, and I wore gray, silent-movie-era makeup that made me look like a mime. And we were robbed at gunpoint.
“When the guy with the gun said, ‘Gimme your money,’ Craig did a beautiful Jack Benny take and gestured to his outfit like, ‘Where would I have money?’ I handed over my wallet and told the mugger I had maybe $20. He said, ‘There better be more than that!’ and I said, ‘I’m an actor.’ After he left, the theater held the curtain for about 15 or 20 minutes while the police came and took our statements. Then we went on and were, of course, fabulous.”
Larry Larson (actor/playwright): “Eddie Levi Lee and I were playing Lennie and George in Of Mice and Men at the Academy Theatre. We had a steel basket built into the stage in which we ‘built’ a campfire, using twigs that had been soaked in water, so we could safely put a match in. I threw in the match and all seemed well until later in the scene, when I noticed that actual flames were coming out. No one soaked the twigs that day, so it was dry kindling.
“Eddie and I talked about rabbits a little more, until flames started rising more than a foot high, and the stage itself was catching fire. Finally, I said, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to stop for a moment and take care of this campfire.’ The technical director came out with a bucket of water and put it out. He’d been crawling under the stage trying to put it out without stopping the show. Once the fire was out and the lights restored, I turned to Eddie, who had stayed in character, and said, ‘Well, Lennie, do you remember where we left off?’ Eddie looked at me and said, ‘No, George. I forget things sometimes.’”
Occupational hazardsActor’s Express is replacing its summer show, the period comedy Compleat Female Stage Beauty. Instead, the playhouse presents Allison Moore’s Hazard County (June 2-July 23), which depicts a Southern mystery interspersed with monologues about “The Dukes of Hazzard.” Actor’s Express founder Chris Coleman directs the show’s first production, playing through April 3 during the Humana Festival at Louisville’s Actors Theatre.
Actor’s Express artistic director Jasson Minadakis worried that the weak box office of the play’s film adaptation, Stage Beauty, would hurt the play’s attendance. He praises Hazard County’s off-beat meditation on Southern culture and hopes the new film of The Dukes of Hazzard, opening June 24 with Johnny Knoxville and Jessica Simpson, will give the summer show a Hollywood hook.
The playhouse has also announced its 2005-‘06 season. Run dates are yet to be announced, but the season begins with Bug, a thriller by Tracy Letts, playwright of last fall’s smash Killer Joe. Pulitzer-winner Paula Vogel penned the dysfunctional family holiday-themed show The Long Christmas Ride Home to be co-produced with Synchronicity Performance Group. The world premiere musical Love Jerry, Megan Gogerty’s poignant tale of child abuse, was a finalist in the Alliance Theatre’s 2005 Graduate Playwriting Competition. Next spring, the theater presents the Atlanta premiere of the haunting memory play Three Tall Women by Edward Albee, author of The Goat, or Who Is Sylvia?, an Actor’s Express hit in 2004. And The Last Sunday in June, a comedy-drama about Gay Pride Day in post-9/11 New York, closes the season next summer.
Curt.Holman@creativeloafing.com